I have been really uptight with this whole “shelter in place” for the coronavirus. TOUCH = DEATH but don’t panic! I guess I should re-read that Hitchhiker’s Guide. It’s been hard to watch the news and not feel a lot of anxiety. So I have been very, deeply grateful for all of the comics and comediennes who have put themselves out there doing shows from home. And I got a real kick out of Neil Diamond’s spoof of his own “Sweet Caroline” he posted from isolation on Twitter where he changed the “hands, touching hands” part to “hands, washing hands.”
But he didn’t change most of the lyrics, which I felt was a lost opportunity.
I guess I’m prone to earworms. Really prone, actually. And I did take that lyrics-writing class in theatre school. And I grew up on Weird Al. And maybe I don’t know when to leave well enough alone, but here it is:
I hope you will never get that tune out of your head, and that whenever you feel stuck at home, you will sing this spoof to yourself and giggle. And share the earworm.
L.A. Kuemmel 